I feel too zinged up to go to sleep even though my boyfriend’s already snoring away. Time always used to be a scarce commodity. Now there’s too much of it; it sprawls out everywhere, threatening loneliness and boredom.
A sense of wonder fills me. Why does life always do this? If we could only get things when we desire them, all would be well. But too often, we yearn and yearn and yearn and nothing happens the way we want it to be. And then, just when you don’t want it any more, life says “Here we are – just what you ordered. Sorry if it’s a little too late. Sorry if it’s gone cold and past its sell-by-date. You did ask for it.” I’m convinced that the gap between desire and fulfilment causes most of the pain in the world.
Sometimes I find myself stuck in a disaster of my own making and other times I struggle through the trials that I was not expecting or, at the very least, trials that seem unfair. I'm sure I take much longer than the normal person does to climb each mountain put before me, but I take more pride in continuing to climb than I think I would if I were like the many others who quickly run all the way to the top.
Anyway, I've been slowly but steadily getting my reading habit back and have been amassing books to read during the next few weeks. Golly jee! When was the last time I actually completed a whole story book? Like a year ago or...more? That was not even a story book. It was a book of facts, just scientific facts about human behaviour. Have I mentioned I was interested in psychology? I still do, though. Besides that, I've started picking up my pencils and sketchbook to draw again. I'm a little rusty, but boy, does it feel Great with a capital G! I am a self-proclaimed artist. And before i forget, a thousand appologies for changing my url but i promise this will be my last. Toodles xx
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