I will write for myself, to alleviate the apprehension in the depth of my soul.
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Monday, December 26, 2011

Rule #52: When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.


"Whether it's taking each other for granted,or people changing over time, the bottom line is....someone stops trying. And the feelings aren't strong as before."



I don’t often express my opinions – not because I don’t have them, but because I don’t want to polarize people and start arguments or create debate. I don’t have the energy to follow up and defend my opinions; they are simply conclusions I have drawn about things, and I don’t want to force them on anyone else.

I’m not one to talk a lot. In fact, I hate discussing things in length. If it’s good, it’s good. If it’s not, it’s not. If we’re cool, we’re cool. It’s as simple as that! yes…… it takes a lot of control to stick to it. Lingering on something so moot and passé - really, what’s the point? It’s something I will never understand and will forever consider self-torture.

I am aware that not everyone thinks the way I do and I totally accept that. I am aware that there are people who like to dwell on their past for reasons both good and bad. I know people guilty of this and every time they try to bring up the past to me, whether or not it actually involves me, I feel that I’m the most useless person to talk to. What else can I say but let it go and move forward?

“It’s easier said than done.”

Well.. It’s just the way you look at things and how you choose to handle it. If you really think it is easy, it will be.How, you may ask? Give others a chance and take risks, that is how! If it’s for you, no matter what happens and how big the hurdle – if it is meant you, then it is meant for you. Nothing can stop this. He has made it such that it is what you’re supposed to be, supposed to do. It’s only a matter of time. So take it easy a little, walk with faith. If you believe in faith, then believe that He is giving you this now, the harder part, so that the easier things will appear later in future for you.

Recently, a close friend of mine was telling me about her love life and how many guys she actually rejected because she couldn’t get over her ex-boyfriend. A part of me wanted to give her a huge gigantic mega slap on her forehead whereas another part of me was trying to put myself in her shoes. I couldn’t say anything much (I’m hopeless when it comes to giving emotional support) even though everything she’s been through I can totally relate but I was totally caught off guard when she asked, “You just broke up a month ago, why did you move on so fast?”

The question was ‘WHY’. Not how.

There are times when I feel almost getting pulled back to the past–feeling the same feelings, looking at things the way I used to–and I thank all things divine in this world for giving me control and bringing me back to the present. A lot of things have changed I admit, but they were inevitable so hey, do something else other than mope right? I just refuse to relive the past no matter how much I miss the good old times. It’s something I have left behind and what ever path I choose to take, I will never make it back there because I know there are better things that God has planned out for me.

But I will have to deal with people who are stuck one way or another, which I don’t mind. I'm going to be a listening ear like i always am but still all I’m saying is let it go and move forward. As tempting as it may seem to feed myself with all the intensity of the past, I won’t give in. I have control. Nothing’s going to shake me.

Now that, my friend, is why;)

“Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future.” – Bill Cosby



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