Sophistication: Rule #72: The only reason why people hold on to memories so tightly is because memories are the only things that don’t change when everyone else does.

Dear you, a.k.a. my johnny d,

We’re in a strange situation at the moment, if you haven’t noticed. I know we don’t open up to each other and talk much about things that are affecting us. Till today, I still question why. I said this before, you’re like a closed book. Your emotions aren’t there on the page; they’re hidden in the white spaces. You're so aloof that I can’t seem to figure you out. Perhaps it is because you never allow me. You never take time to open up. So honey tell me how am i suppose to comprehend everything?

I never told you why i loved you. But I have to admit this. The way you smile, it is as if everything in my life has been building up to that moment. It never ceases to take my breath away. The way you dance to reggae each time I ask you to; it never fails to crack me up. Hugging you is my favourite because you’re so tall that I can easily rest my head on your chest. I love hugging you so tightly till you can hardly breathe. You shine when you talk about things that you've learnt. You’ve been such a model of strength, courage and faith, and you have changed my life within weeks.

However, I just want to close myself off again, because it’s easier and I don’t have to be afraid or cautious. You are my weakness like as if you hold this mystical power over me. You can elevate or rupture me within seconds; I am receptive when it comes to you. You affect me more than I would ever allow anyone else to do so, which I don’t think you fully recognize.

When I look at my reflection in the mirror, I can see that part of me which is breaking that I wish I could magically heal myself and erase your existence. And yet, keep you here with me, because sometimes I feel like I’ve become too accustomed to the pain that it’s almost comfortable for me.

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This are the photos taken last Tuesday with my secondary school baby girls @ Kallang ice-skating rink. My childhood hobby. Oh, I was scolded for taking videos using my iphone in the rink. They said, "Taking videos while skating is the same as using your phone while driving." Shrugs. Anyway, I want my future daughter/son to be a figure skater! :')