I always find myself wishing I had a ‘no emotion’ button. I always get affected by the littlest things which most of the times, I choose not to show it. Again and again, I’ve been told that I am emotionless. But they do not know that’s just me holding back my words and actions with the fear of their judgements. No matter how much I find that apologizing for what I feel is stupid, I still do anyway. It doesn’t matter how many times people have crossed my limits that I’ve been hurt. To be frank, I still have not lost my faith in humanity because I believe in the goodness of people, that there's a part of them which aches and everyone has a kind heart hidden somewhere. However, it gets tiring, you know? When you feel so much for others but they don’t feel the same way or they mistreat you, that you just feel like turning off your emotions completely and just...be empty.
As I’m on the learning journey to love myself, I have discovered something beautiful. Having a perfectly vulnerable beating heart is truly a blessing from God. It's good to be sensitive and open, if you’re positive because you’ll eventually realize that it also helps to wash away the hatred. Don’t ever let the coldness of others tarnish your tenderness because nothing is more powerful than allowing yourself to be affected by things. Take a look around you- the song that you’re listening, the rain drops, the magnets on your refrigerator, the articles on the newspapers, the footsteps around, the trees in your neighbourhood, the strangers- feel it all because this is all for you. Take it and have gratitude. Every one of us is a wonderful collection of raw feelings, you see things that only your own self know and understand. When you care -in your own way- it makes a difference in people’s lives. The way each one of our love surges and flows, in mysterious ways sometimes, is what holds the world together. Feel the love anyway and embrace it while you can.
♡ ♡ ♡
Nadiah Latiff
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