Rule #112: Sincerity emits a fragrance that can be detected by surrounding hearts.

“Love is patient and kind, it is never jealous, love is never boastful or conceited, it is never rude or selfish, it does not take offence, nor is it resentful. Love takes no pleasure in others’ sins but delights in the truth; it is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope and to endure whatever comes. Love does not come to an end. There are three things that last, faith, hope and love and the greatest of these is love.” (A Walk To Remember)
-----

I was flipping through Cleo magazine June issue and saw an article written by Julia Gaynor.

“The thing about the phrase I Love You is that it’s a loaded gun and if you’re not careful, it can blow up in your face. Once the “L” word is dropped into the conversation, there is no turning back.”

One time, a guy told me he loved me on our third date. He started talking about how determined he was to make me happy and work things out between us because to him, what we had was something “extraordinary.” We only had movies and dinners though? I was freaking out in my heart that I felt claustrophobic when he started holding my face with his two palms as he poured out his feelings and I just stood there blinking my eyes all speechless!

There was also a guy whom I went out with for a week and he would say “I love you” like ten times a day. No matter how much I told him to take things slow, he was so ascertained that he wanted to marry me in the future. I heard it so often that “I love you too” almost slipped out but I was more like, “I lov- urm, no, nothing,” I didn’t have the intention to hurt him on purpose but that was really the truth. He would talk about how willing he was to wait for the day that I would finally say the three words back to him.

Of course, all these were sweet and thoughtful. But it is highly unlikely they were in love with the real me. I mean, come on? How can you fall in love with someone you just met? You can’t go around telling every person that comes in to your life that you love them. I believe that saying ‘I love you’ too much makes the phrase itself invaluable and it will lose its magic after a while. One thing I noticed, people tend to rush into relationships because they’re afraid that their “chance” might go away if they’re not quick enough to win the girl’s heart. Well whatever it is, in my opinion, until one has met and spent considerable time together, he can only believe he is in love with the person he thinks me to be.

So, what happened to all these guys who claimed they loved me? They started making issues with how I live my life. Like having many guyfriends, going out after midnight, not learning how to cook, etc. They started getting jealous and making things a big deal even though I didn’t agree to commit in a relationship or anything like that. When things turned really ugly and I decided not to continue contacting, they felt that I have “used” them or “took advantage” although I never asked them to do anything for me. Doesn’t make sense to tell people you love them and end up hating them some time after because they’re not the person you thought they were. So much for “accepting” me for who I am, right?

Love should be an evolving feeling that grows inside, when the right person and right timing comes along, than by all means you should express the way you feel. I know we’re all running out of time, but there’s no need to rush things. If it’s meant to be, it will be, eventually. I also learned that the words can be uttered when you are feeling connectedness, fondness or infatuation, but not true love. You have to know someone to feel that depth of emotion.

“Sometimes, you’re afraid to say them because you think they will break the spell, as if the words will diminish the intensity of unspoken emotions.” That’s true, as well. I’m convinced that once you say them, things will definitely change afterwards. For the better or for worse. It’s whether or not you’re willing to risk it. “So perhaps the big question isn’t when to tell him you love him, but when to let him go when he still can’t say, show, or feel it.”

♡ ♡ ♡
Nadiah Latiff

Rule #111: The right attitude can change a hardship into a blessing.

“Learn to see each moment as its own birth–entirely separate from the moment that proceeded it, and from the moment that will follow. Each moment is a new existence, a new world in which we will be born and will die. Our problem is that we become enslaved to the moments that have passed, enslaved to old worlds that have already passed away. But in reality, more than a thousand times a day, we are born. Yet many of us choose to just let ourselves die again and again, as each new moment fades. We forget that each birth is a new opportunity to start over, to turn around, or to keep going. To rise higher, to heal, to grow. To be different. Better. Each new moment calls for transformation, renewal, return. Tawbah. But we’re too busy dying.” – Yasmin Mogahed

After weeks of trying to convince myself that twitter was wasting too much of my time, I’ve finally managed to click the ‘deactivate my account’ button last Saturday morning. (I'll be back on August!) It never cease to amaze me how addicted I can get to social networking sites. I don’t even know what I would do without internet access! So, I’ve been reading a lot and watching good documentary films nestled in the warmth of my blankets with beer jugs of chocolate milk. It’s nice being at home most of the time. It has made me happier in many ways and sad in some. I think of how uneventful my life is, and to be honest I am glad. It’s reassuring to know it’s not always bustling with drama and people.

Besides, I feel like I am becoming stronger. I am so much more certain about myself as a person and also what I need in life. I don’t know if any of this makes sense or has any significance; Maybe I am just emanating random thoughts.


Thank you guys for a great Friday night!

♡ ♡ ♡
Nadiah Latiff
P.S: Previous post deleted. No questions asked.

Rule #110: Don't get hung up on details and miss what's parked right infront of you.

will don the hijab one day, insya'allah
I tend to get greatly attached to people emotionally. Then, it is as if I subconsciously allow them to take control of my entire emotional system. With their happiness comes mine. When they’re in pain, I feel their pain. Anything negative, I can feel it too or even more.

Some people, like me, measure our self-worth with how well we are able to help our loved ones through a problem, how hard we make them laugh, how successfully we can change their mindset for themselves to become better, how fast we are able to reach to them when they need us, etc. And no matter how sincere we are in doing all these for them, there’s always a slight hope in us that they would acknowledge our efforts. When they don’t, or worse, they treat us like a piece of crap in return, we would still take it all in even though it’s apparent to us that we don’t deserve it. Our good intentions are often misunderstood but because of the love that we feel strongly towards them, we swallow all the harsh comments/opinions about us until our brains start believing they are true. That’s when every bad treatment we receive, we would be thinking “Yeah, maybe I do deserve it afterall,” due to our countless failed attempts to make the ones we love happy. We belittle our self-worth to a point where we would even question ‘why’ each time someone does something nice for us.

As much as I hate to admit this, I used to think that I was worthless. Some people that I loved made me feel that I wasn’t “good enough”. I didn’t satisfy their needs/desires the way they wanted me to and people had high expectations of me that I just couldn’t stand the thought of disappointing anyone dear in my heart. Call me ‘compulsive people pleaser’ or whatever. God knows how I was so hard on myself. I always had people telling me I deserved better but I never believed them since I trusted the opinions from my loved ones better. There was a period of time I couldn’t even look in the mirror without thinking of something mean to say. Then I started realizing… that’s just my mentality. It was purely my own choice to feel that way and there’s no one else to blame but myself. I know if this goes on, it's definitely going to affect my future relationships.

The thing is, you gotta stop making your self-worth conditional on other people. Never give other people's opinions so much power over you. Because in this cruel world we’re living in, there will always be arrogant people who act like assholes towards you no matter how good you are. What you do for your loved ones is irreplaceable, although they may consistently make you feel easily replaceable. If your love is true, don’t let that deter you from always being there for them just because they don’t acknowledge your efforts. Change one thing though; Love yourself as much as you love everyone else. God didn’t put you here to carry all of the weight of the world so don’t dwell too much on the bad stuffs.

This might sound cliche but when they say happiness is a choice, it’s really true! When I was younger I didn't quite understand. I have come to believe that one’s attitude in life is very important in ALL circumstances. It’s really how you think, how you perceive things and how you carry on with your life that will make or break your heart or your humanity. At the end of the day, remember the angels are recording your deeds! God not only will recognize the good you do, but He will show His appreciation in the best form of all. So just continue to be the best you can be! :)

♡ ♡ ♡
Nadiah Latiff

Rule #109: Your heart and mind are your two most precious organs. Never give anyone full control of them.

The weather today was perfect, I must say. It rained earlier and now it’s pretty windy. Most people on my TL was like, Why can’t everyday be like this? I ask the same question myself though. Honestly I can’t stand the scorching hot weather these days which is pretty much the reason why I prefer staying at home like… 5 times a week.

I went for my check-up recently at NUH. Alhamdullilah, the x-ray showed that lungs have been cleared, which means no more pneumonia! I was pretty shocked though. I didn’t expect to recover fast because of how many times I skipped my medicine intake. They injected the influenza vaccine on my arm which "will prevent you from getting flu for a year" said the doctor, but I don’t think it’s working because for the past two days my nose was like a water faucet. Anyway, I’m left with my heart check-up in a month’s time. Please make du’as that my heart will be fine too!

I realized I’m starting to become a coffee person. It’s not a good thing really. I always noticed how adults can’t start their day without drinking coffee and how coffee is always the solution for almost anything. Speaking of adults, I’m turning 18- okay still a teenager though- in 2 months’ time and god knows how much that scares me. If September 3 really comes, I’m going to be grateful that God has given me another year to live. But no doubt at the same time I am going to cry my heart out thinking of the temptations that I have to overcome and responsibilities that I gotta fulfil. (Wow which part of that is being grateful?) But I really can’t stand thinking about….how many wrinkles going to appear on my skin… and… how I’m going to stop growing physically….and how I have to be more serious in the stuffs I do… And all that…depressing… aging process… that people… always.have.to.go.through.in.their.lives…..and most importantly, closer to death *gulps*

Okay, inhale…Exhale.

I’m just overthinking; that’s what everybody would tell me. Let’s look at the positive side. I should think of it as coming into myself, being wiser, being beautiful, and hopefully growing to be a better human and the most that one can really be. Right? Right.

I just finished a regular cup of mocha latte which cost seven damn bucks and I’m about to get up from my table to get another one. Ciao, adios amigos beautiful people~

♡ ♡ ♡
Nadiah Latiff

Rule #108: Sometimes your vision in life is unclear, but you have to believe, have faith in a higher being to lead the way.

Picture taken by Iphone.

One time, I was busy doing my stuffs online when a friend popped up a question about breast enlargement. I responded, “Girl, you asked the wrong person,” then she went to research about it on Google. I thought it was random thing she did it out of boredom while waiting for me to finish my stuff so I just couldn’t be bothered. She was reading out loud articles after articles the different ways that help to enhance your breasts. When she started contemplating buying pills that were on promotion, it stirred up my curiosity big time. I was wondering why she wanted to invest on these things when, personally, I felt that she has a perfect cup size for her kind of body and the money could be used for better purposes. If I really didn’t care, I wouldn’t stop her and just continue what I was doing but I knew by doing so, she’s only going to increase the risk of developing breast cancer and other side effects god knows what.

My jaw literally dropped when she told me about the man she’s in relationship with. I mean, I totally respect couples who cherish their sexual relationship and tell each other their desires etc. I have nothing against ya’ll but honestly, I always feel like a little part of my heart dies whenever I hear hurtful comments given to such a beautiful young woman like her. I seriously can’t stand how men can be so disrespectful though. Pardon me if I use obscene language/profanities but you see,

1) God didn’t give women a choice to choose the cup size that they want. We grow them naturally with what God is willing to give.
2) Women are naturally insecure about her body and yes, we would appreciate your honest opinion about us. But if you’re going to make our physical features as a joke, might as well you shut up.
3) Unless you choose to date a slut, your girlfriend is not a porn star. Stop expecting her to do everything you’ve watched on the internet.
4) If a man thinks it is okay to talk about how small your girlfriend’s boobs are, just imagine her saying that your dick is too small for her? How would that make you feel?
4) Breast enlargement pills, creams, etc. don’t 100% work on every single woman. There are women who are willing to the extent of paying thousands of dollars for a boob job, don't be surprised if your girlfriend is next. Even with surgery, men always label these women as “fake”. Do you really think they did it solely for themselves or to impress you guys too? Natural or fake, you still don’t know how to appreciate?
5) If you genuinely love a woman for who she really is, you will respect her. When you really connect with her inner self, any physical imperfections disappear, become irrelevant.

I mean, really, think about it. Women desperately want to modify or alter the way they look because of the feedback they receive from the wrong men. You don’t always have to change yourself ladies, change the people you are associating yourself with. 　

♡ ♡ ♡
Nadiah Latiff

Rule #106: Lower your expectations of others, and raise your expectations of yourself.

Trapped by my own laziness, I keep talking to myself about discovery, travel, and death. Yes, especially death… It’s been on my mind with all that’s happening around the world. Sometimes I blow it off thinking that my mind is playing with me because I’ve been seeing it everywhere, but I’ve come to realise how ignorant I’ve been for the past years of my life. I don’t think I can truly say that it scared me although it did leave me unnerved with the fact that there really is no certainty to our existence.

Everything in this world comes with a timeline. In a good way, I know that I’m never stagnant. Time is indeed limited yet I do nothing much to cherish it. Ain’t that a shame. Guess I’m simply am not ready to cease existing. Perhaps it’s attachment to the people and things in this world. There are just far too many things I’m itching to do and so many things I should have done that sometimes I tend to forget the true purpose of Life- which is to worship Allah and Him alone- and that Paradise is way better than everything else here.

I was taught that each individual has full control of their life. God has His plans and our fate has already been written but that is not an excuse to just wait around to be awestruck. We are given choices to do what’s right and wrong. We control our thoughts, our thoughts influence our attitudes, and our attitudes determine how we will go about our lives. Life gets difficult for everyone and sometimes there isn’t anything we can do to prevent life from doing its worst. The only thing we can truly control is how we react to what’s thrown at us. There’s a verse in the Qur’an I read earlier today which says: “And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient.” (2:155)

This post is a way of me reminding myself. It’s a way to reassert my faith and beliefs so that I will always remember. All I have is now. I really have to get out of this rut; this continuous mundane routine that I’ve so comfortably settled into. I am a flawed being and so are you, admitting that should only propel us forward not pull us back. So here’s to less talking and more actions...

♡ ♡ ♡
Nadiah Latiff

Rule #105: There will come a time in life when you begin to realize that there are some people you will never see again, at least not in the same way.

 
Nothing is tougher than holding back your tears when you see your own Mother crying her heart out to you. It’s an inexplicable feeling to see her so hurt that the world even seems to flip itself over. Your soul aches and a piece of you dies a little when you look into her eyes full of sadness and pain. You wonder to yourself how many times she has silently cried throughout the years but only God alone knows the endless hours she has spent on her bended knees praying for her family. No one knows the disappointments that choke her heart as she fights to keep things from falling apart. Hoping you could mend her broken heart, you breathe in and out deeply trying to hold yourself together so you could be a pillar of strength to her as she weeps. At night when all the lights are off and everyone is asleep, you can't help but cry in your prayer mat for God to ease your Mother's pain and swear that no matter what happens you will never leave her all alone.


---
"Do good to and serve your mother, then your mother, then your mother, then your father, then the near relatives and then those who come after them."[Mazhari]
"I know of no other deed that brings people closer to Allah than kind treatment and respect towards one's mother." [Al-Adab al-Mufrad Bukhârî 1/45]
"Paradise lies at the feet of your mother" [Musnad Ahmad, Sunan An-Nasâ’i, Sunan Ibn Mâjah]

♡ ♡ ♡
Nadiah Latiff

Rule #104: You don’t know what you have until you see what others don’t have.

I did not exactly know what was happening to me. I felt longing and numb, and I found myself thinking more constantly in circles. I realized I have been holding myself back for quite a long time; I blamed my insecurities for that. Somewhere along the way, I kind of lost myself. Shameful to say, I actually allowed someone’s absence to affect me so much until my friends told me I was acting differently and I screwed up big time. I shouldn't be dwelling on that anymore, because things are getting better now honestly (Alhamdullilah). So this is me, moving on... I just need to reset my priorities and plan something productive to occupy myself for the next two months before I start school again. I wasted too much time on social sites so right now I’m contemplating to deactivate my twitter and facebook. I’ll still be updating here though. Please keep me in your prayers. I love you all.

♡ ♡ ♡
Nadiah Latiff

Rule #103: Fall in love with the mental beauty because the filth of the mind has the potential to destroy the body.

I was having a really bad day until a stranger approached me in the train station and we had a 45min conversation about our lives. It was spontaneous but I liked it. Because I learned a little something more about myself . And sometimes, little things like this can completely make my day.
--
"I have the deepest affection for intellectual conversations. The ability to just sit and talk. About love, about life, about anything, about everything. To sit under the moon with all the time in the world, the full-speed train that is our lives slowing to a crawl. Bound by no obligations, barred by no human limitations. To speak without regret or fear of consequence. To talk for hours and about what’s really important in life."

It speaks so much of my life.But it’s kind of sad that some people you love can only hear you out but they don’t listen well with understanding. *shrugs

♡ ♡ ♡
Nadiah Latiff

Rule #102: Many of the faults you see in others, are your own nature reflected in them.

It’s an awful feeling for me to never completely know if I’m worth any of this. To stand in front of a mirror and look at myself with doubting eyes. I can’t seem to make myself concrete enough not to break at the slightest touch of scepticism. Why is it so hard to stand up and fight for who I am?

Take a leap of faith, love. That’s what they say.

I've been worrying a lot lately. So much so that at times i can feel my chest closing in on itself- constricting breath, creating a needle of pain. My medication should be working faster but I blame myself for missing my morning medication because of my habit waking up late. Even if life feels peculiar and a little difficult right now, I’m still breathing more easily so don’t worry about me. I should be grateful, anyway.

It’s frustrating when I have nothing to share much on my blog. It shows that there have been no new experiences or rather I’m not in the frame of mind to identify the mundane for the unsolicited miracles they often are. I don’t know if that makes sense. Because sometimes even in this state, I do have things to say. But I can’t get the words out. That’s tremendously frustrating; the bottleneck of words sitting in my stomach.

So, here comes June. Didn’t expect you so soon. Or so warm and malodorous in your arrival. Will you please be nice to me?



This is beautiful.
♡ ♡ ♡
Nadiah Latiff

Rule #101: Sometimes it's better to be kind than to be right. a patient heart that listens is better than an intelligent mind that speaks.

I lay on bed and a train of thought runs in my mind, mad as a hatter. Certain thoughts and feelings are immortal. I try to kill them; sometimes they disappear but they always come back. I twist and turn, feeling like an embalm. Soon with a jerk, I wake up just to gaze outside the window, recalling the tender nights and gave praise to God above. I look up with grieving little, but did not mourn; deciding to comfort the heavy heart, I told him my fears, of my silent hurts.

---
“We met as bare acquaintances and you touched my soul. I never knew you'd grow to mean the world to me, but you did. And in a short time you defined bits of this world, took them up for your own. I never complained, just gave you a little more each day. Something so beautiful could never go wrong. I shivered and stumbled but you steadied and warmed me. I was a different me when I was with you. I guess it wasn't me at all.. Just you, all you. Your radiance reflected on me and made me shine bleakly too. The sky and the shore came together. And in fragments, my life became perfect.

Then we said goodbye. And the threads I was holding on to, fell lose all at once. I came spinning down, drowsy with memories, starving for more. I'm still trying to make my life perfect. But the only way to do it anymore is to cut out parts of my day and paste my past into the nights. And as I photoshop your smile into my life, I know I'll never be the same again. For you changed me, forever.” (Via tumblr)

It scares me so much losing my best guyfriend. I'm still gathering my courage till it's really time to let go of... certain things. Thank you, W, for everything you’ve done for me. I could never ask for more. Alhamdullilah.

♡ ♡ ♡
Nadiah Latiff

Rule #100: Only when you try other people’s shoes on do you realize how big they are to fill.

Last Friday, I remember crying at two in the morning as I texted my boy how painful my chest was whenever I breathed in. The pain was unbearable that I couldn’t even walk around the house the whole day without feeling giddy. It felt like there was a heavy weight pressing on my chest. Screaming in silence, what crossed my mind the most was death. I tried to gather my wits and do what I know is best for my body, but I couldn’t work it through. I popped pills of painkillers; nothing helped. There was a desperate urge to wake my parents up but I didn’t want them to wake up with a shock. So I waited for hours in major pain and tears till I was being sent to the National University Hospital in an ambulance.

Life is so unpredictable, isn’t it? The days before I was having so much fun and the next thing I know, BAM! I'm in the hospital! I wasn’t surprised though; it was a bit of déjà vu for me. Thoughts of what I would be doing if I wasn’t in hospital plagued me, the work that had to be done, interview that now had to be postponed, dates with friends and events I couldn’t attend etc. It was pure frustration. I longed to eat my mom’s cooking, be in my own bed, cocooned in the comforting silence of my own flat instead of saturated with the sounds of despair. I felt hard done by.

I was told that I had low blood pressure and a breathing condition called Bronchopneumonia.Fear was eating my soul alive. I don’t like injections and having phobia of blood did not seem to help at all. There were death cases of pneumonia; I was even more afraid that I was the next to die. Tears streamed down my face- so did my mother- when I had to be admitted to Intensive Care Unit (ICU) on my second day after several scans and x-rays showed that my heart was also affected by the infection of my lungs. Doctors made me starved for two days; I couldn’t even quench my thirst with plain water. I only had to rely on the antibiotics and fluids that were injected into my veins. Pills after pills. Drips after drips. Blood tests again and again.



Trying to hold onto a little optimism, I slipped my hand under my head pillow to take the little book of invocations that my best guyfriend has passed to me during his visit. Remembrance of God; that's what he always remind me. There’s something about his presence that never failed to lift the atmosphere of the room. Nights after nights, he sat next to my hospital bed sharing about Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) like bed time stories. We joked crazily at wee hours teasing each other about the lamest things, ever. I always thought that he’s a gift that God has given to me but I know it is only temporary. Things will never be the same anymore in a few more months. So times like these… will always be treasured.


Love the new 'A' Class ward!

And i love my Mom!:')

After 4 nights, I was discharged. Alhamdullilah. So far I've been pretty stable and breathing well. I’m under medication for the next two months which means my plans for June have officially been destroyed because the doctor said I can’t do activities that will raise my heart rate. But that’s okay, God has better plans for me, I suppose? Thank you my fellow relatives, friends, followers, readers, for all of your well wishes and prayers for my health! I love you guys, please take care xx

♡ ♡ ♡
Nadiah Latiff
P.S: Yay for my 100th post!

Rule #96: You don’t have to fight every battle. You have to wisely choose your battles to win the war.

Dear Self,

How many times must I remind you to stop being so naïve? I am very sure that you will mature. You will learn to detach from people. It shouldn't be hard, because people give you enough reason to gather the courage to detach. You will be let down, again and again, but don't worry yourself. All you need is your family and that the love from your parents is vital- So don’t mistreat them. And your Lord. He is always there for you yet your commitment to Him isn't even a quarter fulfilled.

Your capacity to love and heal people always leads to destruction and heartbreak. Do you realise that? You can’t save everybody. You can’t please everyone. Stop trying and stop feeling like you failed at what you tried to do. I know you have given up more times than I can count. It's okay. Don't beat yourself up about it. Forgive yourself. You are more self-conscious than you will ever admit, because people’s judgements scare you, don't they?

You will lose friends, and gain new ones. Everybody teaches you a lesson in life. Learn from your mistakes. Really- Learn how much to say and who to say it to. Don’t ever show anyone the vulnerable side of you until they really deserve it because people will be people. Don’t show them you’re weak because they will take advantage of you. So even if you have many fears, show them you’re strong enough to conquer. Even if you’re not, just do the thing you do best- pretend!

Do you remember what you read the other day by Umar ibn Al-Khattab? “No amount of guilt can change the past, and no amount of worrying can change the future. Go easy on yourself, for the outcome of all affairs is determined by Allaahs decree. If something is meant to go elsewhere, it will never come your way, but if it yours by destiny, from you it cannot flee."

Please turn off the masochistic vibe, girlfriend; it’s not cute at all.

♡ ♡ ♡
The part of you who knows better

Rule #95: Jealousy is when you count someone else’s blessings insteadof your own.

Someone recently misunderstood me after finding out that I've been avoiding myself from people because of how particular I am in choosing friends to hang out with. He assumed I picked friends based on popularity and fashion sense; apparently there was sarcasm in his tone. I smirked in disgust and could not be bothered at all to convince him otherwise. It's clear that he didn't take enough time to get to know me well. Furthermore, I am so used to having people who would say things like that about me all the time, even my good friends I had trusted. But hey, human beings are judgmental, right;)

I was at the back seat of my family car on a Saturday night, scrolling down my tumblr dashboard and found something meaningful I thought I could post it up here.

This is a reminder to myself first and foremost:

Do we think about the company we keep, the friends we are around? Do we think about what we expose ourselves to? Remember, all our limbs will account for, or against us on the Day of Judgement. The tongue you speak with, the eyes you see with, the ears you hear with, every single limb.

Do you think about the heart, this incredible morsel of flesh that beats constantly? As soon as a person becomes ill in some way, they rush to treat their illness. Before any of us go outside, we make sure to look in the mirror, to make ourselves look good, to clean our bodies, our face etc. But what about our hearts? One may expose it to so much bad yet we don’t look for a remedy-thus there are repercussions. The bad in the heart is portrayed through every other limb. For example, if the heart exposes it self to bad words, the person may then find himself/herself cursing without even realising. So two important things here, your company, and your heart. Your heart can influence who and what you keep yourself around and you company can influence your heart and thus your actions.

On the authority of Abu Musa al-Ash’ari (رضي الله عنه ), the Prophet (صلي الله عليه و سلم ) said:

“A good friend and a bad friend are like a perfume-seller and a blacksmith: The perfume-seller might give you some perfume as a gift, or you might buy some from him, or at least you might smell its fragrance. As for the blacksmith, he might singe your clothes, and at the very least you will breathe in the fumes of the furnace.” (Sahih al-Bukhari, vol 3, #314 and Muslim)

The significance of this hadith is huge. Imagine you are wearing a white garment, so you enter a blacksmiths and you do not even talk or touch anything, but the fumes and the dirty walls and atmosphere leave your clothes black and your throat clammy and rough. In the same way, being around bad company and bad things leaves you dirty in some way-you don’t even have to take part in the bad. For example, your friends go out to drink alcohol and mix with men, but you don’t participate, you just watch-this bad company is guaranteed to rub off on you and affect your heart negatively (thus your actions).

Yet, good company is truly something beautiful. Company that reminds you of Allah (swt), these people can commit good deeds, say good things in front of you, and you do not even have to participate, but it will rub off on you and you will take some of that good. Your heart will be affected positively in some way, even if you did not attempt to make it better. Subhan’Allah. This applies to Muslims and non-Muslims, in many ways it’s evident in day to day life-when we’re exposed to bad, some of it is passed on to us.

Lastly, there are three types of heart. Think about what category you fit into, for once you acknoledge the problem, it can be addressed.

The first: The correct and sound heart; the heart that is sound, serves and worships only Allah (swt) wholeheartedly. It does not disobey Allah (swt), It’s desire, love, trust and reliance, repentance, humbleness, dread and reverential hope is only for Allah (swt) and its actions are purely for His sake. Hence if it loves, it loves for the sake of Allah (swt); if it hates, it hates for the sake of Allah (swt); if it gives, it gives for the sake of Allah (swt); and if it withholds (e.g. giving into desires), it withholds for the sake of Allah (swt). Allah says in (26:88-89): “The day (i.e. judgement day) on which neither wealth nor sons will be of any use, except for whoever brings to Allah a sound heart.”

The second: The Diseased Heart; the heart is torn. It does not fully obey Allah (swt) and his messenger and it gives in to desires of the dunya. It wavers between safety in ruin, and although it contains love of Allah (swt), it gives preference to it’s desires and it contains jealousy, arrogance, self-amazement, and love of ranking and sowing corruption in the land through attaining leadership from those matters that necessarily lead to its destruction and devastation.

The third: The dead heart: (Bear in mind this does not necessarily be one who classes themselves as non-Muslims, but also so called ‘Muslims’ who do not believe, know or practice the deen that they were born into.) This heart is lifeless, it is in the dark and has no guidance. It does not know it’s Lord If it loves, it loves for the sake of its base desires; if it hates, it hates for the sake of its base desires; if it gives, it gives for the sake of its base desires; if it withholds, it withholds for the sake of its base desires. It gives preference to its base desires and these are more beloved to it than the Pleasure of its Master. Allah (swt) says in the Qur’an (2:17-19):

“Their likeness is as the likeness of one who kindled a fire; then, when it lighted all around him, Allah took away their light and left them in darkness. (So) they could not see. They are deaf, dumb, and blind, so they return not (to the Right Path). Or like a rainstorm from the sky, wherein is darkness, thunder, and lightning. They thrust their fingers in their ears to keep out the stunning thunderclap for fear of death. But Allah ever encompasses the disbelievers (i.e. Allah will gather them all together)”So to summarise:

“The healthy, secure heart which contains no impediment preventing it from accepting the truth, loving it and giving it preference other than its coming to know of it. Therefore its recognition of the truth is correct and it is complete with respect to its submission and acceptance of it.The diseased heart, when its disease predominates than it joins the ranks of the dead and harsh heart but if its soundness predominates it joins the ranks of the truthful and secure heart.The dead, harsh and dry heart that does not accept the truth nor submit to it.”

Which one of these is your heart, and who amongst these people are your company? Think carefully about what you expose yourself too, and whether it is worth corrupting your heart and risking your being in a good position on the Last Day, and know that you are worth more than to be exposing yourself to these things-your heart is worth more than that.

Hope this was of benefit insha’Allah, and Assalamualaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh everyone.

(via poeticislam)

♡ ♡ ♡
Nadiah Latiff

Rule #93: You have to be sincere to learn from criticism.

I always find myself wishing I had a ‘no emotion’ button. I always get affected by the littlest things which most of the times, I choose not to show it. Again and again, I’ve been told that I am emotionless. But they do not know that’s just me holding back my words and actions with the fear of their judgements. No matter how much I find that apologizing for what I feel is stupid, I still do anyway. It doesn’t matter how many times people have crossed my limits that I’ve been hurt. To be frank, I still have not lost my faith in humanity because I believe in the goodness of people, that there's a part of them which aches and everyone has a kind heart hidden somewhere. However, it gets tiring, you know? When you feel so much for others but they don’t feel the same way or they mistreat you, that you just feel like turning off your emotions completely and just...be empty.

As I’m on the learning journey to love myself, I have discovered something beautiful. Having a perfectly vulnerable beating heart is truly a blessing from God. It's good to be sensitive and open, if you’re positive because you’ll eventually realize that it also helps to wash away the hatred. Don’t ever let the coldness of others tarnish your tenderness because nothing is more powerful than allowing yourself to be affected by things. Take a look around you- the song that you’re listening, the rain drops, the magnets on your refrigerator, the articles on the newspapers, the footsteps around, the trees in your neighbourhood, the strangers- feel it all because this is all for you. Take it and have gratitude. Every one of us is a wonderful collection of raw feelings, you see things that only your own self know and understand. When you care -in your own way- it makes a difference in people’s lives. The way each one of our love surges and flows, in mysterious ways sometimes, is what holds the world together. Feel the love anyway and embrace it while you can.

♡ ♡ ♡
Nadiah Latiff

Rule #92: Don’t depend too much on anyone in this world because even your own shadow leaves you when you are in darkness.

There are certain people who come into your life and right away your gut feelings tell you they’re meant to be there to serve some sort of purpose. They’re like a godsend to assist you through difficulty and teach a lesson in life- whether it’s good or bad- to help us grow. When you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment they will affect your life in some profound way or change your life completely. Some are meant to be with us for only a short while. Others stay for a lifetime. They leave a mark and their place in your heart is tender. Their presence brings such a powerful sense of bliss that you just want to staplegun them by your side so they would stand by you for a while longer.

Today, a male friend of mine whom I treasure the most contemplated to walk away from my life. I guess it’s true; love always have this strong power to destroy friendships.

♡ ♡ ♡
Nadiah Latiff

Rule #89: You can only do some much to please others, true happiness lies within.

I'm really sick of listening to people judging how 'good' they are in bed by their physical features.I bet most of you have come across people in your lives who would say something outrageous when a big-breasted woman with a huge ass walks past. Or a guy with a really muscular body. I truly understand that it's normal for humans to have sexual desires. Furthermore, we're all influenced by the western culture about all this things. BUT THAT DOESN'T MAKE YOU COOL AT ALL if you sleep with 10 different people and you share your sex stories all around. It just shows how much respect you have for yourself and the other party.

I'm totally against child pornography big time, man. It's like...equivalent to child abuse! Or even worse than that.

"Lower your gaze because you become less of a human every time you stare at a woman and you stare at her like she’s a piece of meat, like she’s an animal. That just means you’ve lost respect for a fellow human being- you’re looking at her like an ape looks at a female ape, like a dog looks at a female dog.That’s all, you’ve turned into an animal. Regain your humanity. Lower your gaze." - Nouman Ali Khan


EMAIL | FACEBOOK | TWITTER | TUMBLR

Rule #85: Certain people are placed in your life to break you, just so you could learn to pull yourself back together again.

Taken using Iphone (Sorry for the bad quality!)
Black dress, Forever 21 | Long blazer, H&M | Wedges, Aldo | Hand bag, Kate Spade
------
Then there is this loneliness that I once used to crave for. A separation from the people in my life just to do self reflection. Oh how I loved this isolation long long ago; how I would find ways to seclude myself and my thoughts.

And now? When I have it all, it seems like I don’t need it any more. I seek forgiveness from the Lord for my ungrateful self. Maybe I'll miss it once it's gone but for now it’s doing me no good, nothing at all. Slowly turning myself into an introvert- I don’t even know if that’s a good thing or bad. But for the past couple of nights, it all came crashing back. Everything.

Tonight, I lie on my bedroom floor and stare up at the ceiling. Even when I never thought about thinking of you, I still do somewhere in the back of my mind. I guess this is what you call love. Yet, it seems like I am just wasting my life away because apparently you are not worth my thoughts and time. I wonder how long it will take for me to realize this and do something about it. I recall those moments when you mentioned about me being emotionless in my text messages. I really wished I was. Maybe then I wouldn’t always feel victimized and tied down by emotions. And to that, I say this: maybe you do not know me as well as you thought.


EMAIL | FACEBOOK | TWITTER | TUMBLR

Rule #84: Don’t allow your wounds to transform you into someone you are not.

Top, Forever 21 | High Waist Jeans, Topshop | Necklace, Metalli | Wedges, Perth City Beach

I just made myself a cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows in it. A stay home Wednesday for me was better than I have expected. I don’t have the passion and enthusiasm for housekeeping but today I decided to put in more effort than usual. I even did the laundry for the first time- Yeah, I admit I am that spoilt. My skin condition is rather bad right now, probably because of the warm weather. I switched on the fan to the maximum speed. There were consecutive nights I slept with the air-conditioner at lowest temperature. I’m struggling to keep myself from scratching so I won’t bleed again since I am keeping my long fingernails.

There's something about this kitchen that makes me think a lot. To put it bluntly, I've felt like shit for the past few months. Maybe I just need school to preoccupy my mind because without it, I've just had too much time to focus on the negative aspects of my life. I kept imagining the diagram that represents Maslow’s hierarchy of needs that I learnt last year. Every time I see it in my mind, I have to ask myself what part of the hierarchy is missing from my life and I could find nothing. In fact I am blessed with everything that I need. But I know that soon enough, I will have to take a step back from people. I need to see things clearly and reset my priorities. I need to re-evaluate the real reason I’m doing them, what I want the outcome to be and how I can make a change to see it happen. The thing about me is, I have this tendency to think about others to the extent that I would neglect my own feelings/needs, even though they’re not worthy enough. That's one of my flaws. I guess it's time I listen to myself instead.


EMAIL | FACEBOOK | TWITTER | TUMBLR

Rule #83: This Dunya is like inception a dream within a dream, beautiful exterior but it’s never what it’s seems.

After more than 17 years of existence, I found out from W that The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) and all their moon landing is a hoax. I thought Neil Armstrong was first person to set foot upon the Moon- I was wrong!



So watch this documentary. There are a total of 5 parts. You can just click to continue to the next part at the end of the video.


EMAIL | FACEBOOK | TWITTER | TUMBLR