Rule #106: Lower your expectations of others, and raise your expectations of yourself.

Trapped by my own laziness, I keep talking to myself about discovery, travel, and death. Yes, especially death… It’s been on my mind with all that’s happening around the world. Sometimes I blow it off thinking that my mind is playing with me because I’ve been seeing it everywhere, but I’ve come to realise how ignorant I’ve been for the past years of my life. I don’t think I can truly say that it scared me although it did leave me unnerved with the fact that there really is no certainty to our existence.

Everything in this world comes with a timeline. In a good way, I know that I’m never stagnant. Time is indeed limited yet I do nothing much to cherish it. Ain’t that a shame. Guess I’m simply am not ready to cease existing. Perhaps it’s attachment to the people and things in this world. There are just far too many things I’m itching to do and so many things I should have done that sometimes I tend to forget the true purpose of Life- which is to worship Allah and Him alone- and that Paradise is way better than everything else here.

I was taught that each individual has full control of their life. God has His plans and our fate has already been written but that is not an excuse to just wait around to be awestruck. We are given choices to do what’s right and wrong. We control our thoughts, our thoughts influence our attitudes, and our attitudes determine how we will go about our lives. Life gets difficult for everyone and sometimes there isn’t anything we can do to prevent life from doing its worst. The only thing we can truly control is how we react to what’s thrown at us. There’s a verse in the Qur’an I read earlier today which says: “And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient.” (2:155)

This post is a way of me reminding myself. It’s a way to reassert my faith and beliefs so that I will always remember. All I have is now. I really have to get out of this rut; this continuous mundane routine that I’ve so comfortably settled into. I am a flawed being and so are you, admitting that should only propel us forward not pull us back. So here’s to less talking and more actions...

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Nadiah Latiff

Rule #95: Jealousy is when you count someone else’s blessings insteadof your own.

Someone recently misunderstood me after finding out that I've been avoiding myself from people because of how particular I am in choosing friends to hang out with. He assumed I picked friends based on popularity and fashion sense; apparently there was sarcasm in his tone. I smirked in disgust and could not be bothered at all to convince him otherwise. It's clear that he didn't take enough time to get to know me well. Furthermore, I am so used to having people who would say things like that about me all the time, even my good friends I had trusted. But hey, human beings are judgmental, right;)

I was at the back seat of my family car on a Saturday night, scrolling down my tumblr dashboard and found something meaningful I thought I could post it up here.

This is a reminder to myself first and foremost:

Do we think about the company we keep, the friends we are around? Do we think about what we expose ourselves to? Remember, all our limbs will account for, or against us on the Day of Judgement. The tongue you speak with, the eyes you see with, the ears you hear with, every single limb.

Do you think about the heart, this incredible morsel of flesh that beats constantly? As soon as a person becomes ill in some way, they rush to treat their illness. Before any of us go outside, we make sure to look in the mirror, to make ourselves look good, to clean our bodies, our face etc. But what about our hearts? One may expose it to so much bad yet we don’t look for a remedy-thus there are repercussions. The bad in the heart is portrayed through every other limb. For example, if the heart exposes it self to bad words, the person may then find himself/herself cursing without even realising. So two important things here, your company, and your heart. Your heart can influence who and what you keep yourself around and you company can influence your heart and thus your actions.

On the authority of Abu Musa al-Ash’ari (رضي الله عنه ), the Prophet (صلي الله عليه و سلم ) said:

“A good friend and a bad friend are like a perfume-seller and a blacksmith: The perfume-seller might give you some perfume as a gift, or you might buy some from him, or at least you might smell its fragrance. As for the blacksmith, he might singe your clothes, and at the very least you will breathe in the fumes of the furnace.” (Sahih al-Bukhari, vol 3, #314 and Muslim)

The significance of this hadith is huge. Imagine you are wearing a white garment, so you enter a blacksmiths and you do not even talk or touch anything, but the fumes and the dirty walls and atmosphere leave your clothes black and your throat clammy and rough. In the same way, being around bad company and bad things leaves you dirty in some way-you don’t even have to take part in the bad. For example, your friends go out to drink alcohol and mix with men, but you don’t participate, you just watch-this bad company is guaranteed to rub off on you and affect your heart negatively (thus your actions).

Yet, good company is truly something beautiful. Company that reminds you of Allah (swt), these people can commit good deeds, say good things in front of you, and you do not even have to participate, but it will rub off on you and you will take some of that good. Your heart will be affected positively in some way, even if you did not attempt to make it better. Subhan’Allah. This applies to Muslims and non-Muslims, in many ways it’s evident in day to day life-when we’re exposed to bad, some of it is passed on to us.

Lastly, there are three types of heart. Think about what category you fit into, for once you acknoledge the problem, it can be addressed.

The first: The correct and sound heart; the heart that is sound, serves and worships only Allah (swt) wholeheartedly. It does not disobey Allah (swt), It’s desire, love, trust and reliance, repentance, humbleness, dread and reverential hope is only for Allah (swt) and its actions are purely for His sake. Hence if it loves, it loves for the sake of Allah (swt); if it hates, it hates for the sake of Allah (swt); if it gives, it gives for the sake of Allah (swt); and if it withholds (e.g. giving into desires), it withholds for the sake of Allah (swt). Allah says in (26:88-89): “The day (i.e. judgement day) on which neither wealth nor sons will be of any use, except for whoever brings to Allah a sound heart.”

The second: The Diseased Heart; the heart is torn. It does not fully obey Allah (swt) and his messenger and it gives in to desires of the dunya. It wavers between safety in ruin, and although it contains love of Allah (swt), it gives preference to it’s desires and it contains jealousy, arrogance, self-amazement, and love of ranking and sowing corruption in the land through attaining leadership from those matters that necessarily lead to its destruction and devastation.

The third: The dead heart: (Bear in mind this does not necessarily be one who classes themselves as non-Muslims, but also so called ‘Muslims’ who do not believe, know or practice the deen that they were born into.) This heart is lifeless, it is in the dark and has no guidance. It does not know it’s Lord If it loves, it loves for the sake of its base desires; if it hates, it hates for the sake of its base desires; if it gives, it gives for the sake of its base desires; if it withholds, it withholds for the sake of its base desires. It gives preference to its base desires and these are more beloved to it than the Pleasure of its Master. Allah (swt) says in the Qur’an (2:17-19):

“Their likeness is as the likeness of one who kindled a fire; then, when it lighted all around him, Allah took away their light and left them in darkness. (So) they could not see. They are deaf, dumb, and blind, so they return not (to the Right Path). Or like a rainstorm from the sky, wherein is darkness, thunder, and lightning. They thrust their fingers in their ears to keep out the stunning thunderclap for fear of death. But Allah ever encompasses the disbelievers (i.e. Allah will gather them all together)”So to summarise:

“The healthy, secure heart which contains no impediment preventing it from accepting the truth, loving it and giving it preference other than its coming to know of it. Therefore its recognition of the truth is correct and it is complete with respect to its submission and acceptance of it.The diseased heart, when its disease predominates than it joins the ranks of the dead and harsh heart but if its soundness predominates it joins the ranks of the truthful and secure heart.The dead, harsh and dry heart that does not accept the truth nor submit to it.”

Which one of these is your heart, and who amongst these people are your company? Think carefully about what you expose yourself too, and whether it is worth corrupting your heart and risking your being in a good position on the Last Day, and know that you are worth more than to be exposing yourself to these things-your heart is worth more than that.

Hope this was of benefit insha’Allah, and Assalamualaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh everyone.

(via poeticislam)

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Nadiah Latiff

Rule #94: The most rewarding revenge is forgiveness.

"Maybe she was looking in all the wrong places. After all, he was just a dunya guy, he would give her the happiness of the dunya for just a few day, weeks, months maybe and then they would never be the ‘happily ever after couple’ like Muhammad sallallahu alyhe wa sallam and Khadijah radi Allah hu Anha.

For she realized that a bond made for the sake of the dunya lacked the basic crucial ingredient: the barakah of Allah. If she started a relationship which wasn’t blessed by Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala, she would ruin her entire life for the man who looked so charming but whose heart was attached to the dunya.

She was concerned about her future progeny and she decided that she didn’t want to raise up her future children oblivious and ignorant of Islam. She decided that she’d look at his deen, his character and his ikhlaq, for if those qualities in him were well grounded, he would turn into the greatest blessing of her life - her better half.

With all the traffic of thoughts in her mind, she came across a verse in the Quran which lay open in her hands and the verse she saw made her cry and she made sincere dua from her heart and decided that she wanted her better half to be someone who would hold her hand, help bring the Sunnah and Shariah in her life, take her out for ice-cream, help solve all her problems and when he couldnt he would be just a good listener and also he would take her to jannah. The verse she read was:

One of His signs is that He created for you spouses of your own species, so that you might find comfort with them. And He put mutual love and affection in your hearts. Surely in this there are lessons for the thinking people.” [30:21]

(via inthenameofallah)


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Nadiah Latiff

Rule #89: You can only do some much to please others, true happiness lies within.

I'm really sick of listening to people judging how 'good' they are in bed by their physical features.I bet most of you have come across people in your lives who would say something outrageous when a big-breasted woman with a huge ass walks past. Or a guy with a really muscular body. I truly understand that it's normal for humans to have sexual desires. Furthermore, we're all influenced by the western culture about all this things. BUT THAT DOESN'T MAKE YOU COOL AT ALL if you sleep with 10 different people and you share your sex stories all around. It just shows how much respect you have for yourself and the other party.

I'm totally against child pornography big time, man. It's like...equivalent to child abuse! Or even worse than that.

"Lower your gaze because you become less of a human every time you stare at a woman and you stare at her like she’s a piece of meat, like she’s an animal. That just means you’ve lost respect for a fellow human being- you’re looking at her like an ape looks at a female ape, like a dog looks at a female dog.That’s all, you’ve turned into an animal. Regain your humanity. Lower your gaze." - Nouman Ali Khan


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Rule #70: Patience is the key to everything.

This morning I was enjoying my cup of hot milo and pancakes, all by myself, in my neighbourhood McDonald’s. I brought only my iphone, a book to read, my MacBook to write, some cash to eat- nothing else- and I felt complete.

I coincidentally met up with a 24-year old guy friend of mine whom I met in a club two years ago. We became good friends ever since then; we hang out and went riding with his friends till morning. Somewhere along the way, our friendship fell apart- we got into a ridiculously huge argument and my relationship with my ex played a huge factor to this- the next thing I knew, we turned into hi-bye acquaintances.

Alhamdullilah, God brought us to meet again today and we had a very intellectual conversation about life and religion for two hours. He has changed a lot over the years and I can’t describe in words how much I enjoy this kind of topics, unlike gossiping and talking about meaningless things. I was very enlightened. Someone once told me, every person you meet is a blessing. True. People come in and out of our lives; that is inevitable. They might hurt us or make us unhappy, but in the midst of that, it is significant to identify these lessons- in suffering, in happiness, in sadness, etc- everything has underlying connotations.

“May Allah have mercy upon you, bless you and guide you to the truth. May Allah make you worship him fully. Remember that he created you, gave you life, gave you substance and provided everything for you and did not leave you alone, rather he guided you. Worship Allah sincerely and willingly, not for me or anybody but for Allah alone. May Allah reward you with goodness.Insya’Allah I will talk to you again.” – Quoted by my guyfriend in his text message after I left.

I look around me and I see plenty of people walking past. Some look familiar, some are just…wayfaring strangers. I ponder a lot about them whenever I sit alone. What are these people feeling? Are they happy being at where they are now with the statuses and reputation that they hold? What is their purpose in life? Thoughts are often labelled to be nothing more than a moment of deliberation; however I personally feel like it is something beautiful. All it takes is a moment of reflection, and it can change the way you see the world and the people in it. xx


Black Top, Zara | Bag, Roxy | Printed pencil skirt, River Island | Wedges, Raoul
Have i mentioned i have a thing for pencil skirts? Hehe!

Rule #67: The tongue will never get tired, but it can be responsible for transporting you to either hell or heaven.

Today was one of those lazy days that only come by every so often. I woke up at two in the afternoon even though I am naturally a morning person. Reason being I couldn't fall asleep till it was 4.30am; boredom was eating me alive that I even spammed someone's inbox with my stupid text messages. Right now, I’m not feeling quite well though. My chest feels so tight and my breathing is heavy. I just have to pretend it is not painful because I really don’t want to be dragged to the 24-hour clinic!!!

As I laid on the couch for hours just watching television, a thought occurred. I realised that most people spend their lives trying to fill a void. They search for love with the impression that it will fill that void because the society today taught us that once we find love, we will locate happiness. But nowadays I notice people are trying so hard to seek love to the extent that they will complain about how lonely they are and blaming life for being so malicious when love fails.

So here’s to the people who feel that way:

The world is indeed precarious and Shaitaan is everywhere trying to lead us astray; he distracts us from our purpose. I know that sometimes we become so engrossed in our lives that we ultimately forget who we are and what we are living for. Remember, your happiness lies in the hands of God the Almighty. If you do not worship Him, how can you ever expect to be genuinely happy with anything else? If you turn to the creations and not the Lord, that void you feel will remain vacant for the rest of your life. Use your mind and think.
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Yesterday I was having my favourite yoghurt @ a neighbourhood Frolicks with someone just catching up as usual and having a heart-to-heart talk.

“I can’t bear to see someone hurting you. I feel so…sad...like urgh,” He murmured as he cringed sympathetically. “I just can’t,”

“If you feel that way, then i don’t want to tell you anything anymore,” I scowled in a joking manner while continue swinging on the swing that I was sitting with him.

Then there he went trying to convince me that he’s worthy enough to know things. I just laughed at the way he responded because it was cute the way he was trying to prove his point. I understood what he meant though. He wants to be my strength, my happiness and everything that I am lacking of.

“You know…That’s the reason why I don’t tell people what I go through. I know, some way or another, whatever I say would affect them emotionally or mentally. Even if it’s just a little tiny bit, I still don’t like that at all,” I asserted politely. “I don’t want to depend on people for emotional support or anything like that because at the end of the day, I still have to fight my own battles.”

Lately I find myself being very cautious with the words that I choose to speak, in fear of that I may or will hurt someone. Thinking about your words is imperative, they can hold eminent meaning. They can reflect your own character. Sometimes, i feel like keeping silent is way better than sharing secrets and saying meaningless things, you know?

But hey, I have to admit it’s one of the most comforting feelings in the world to have someone who showers you with so much love and just wants to see you happy. I am very grateful. However, a note to self: You do not need a man to strengthen you, rely on Allah. xx

Rule #62: Less done, but completely, is better than much which is incomplete.

“Forget about everyone. Stop thinking about what he wants, what your parents want, or what I want. What do YOU want?” A similar question being asked by someone in the bus on our journey back home.

“I just want… to make people happy,” I responded. He listened attentively while I gathered my thoughts, trying to convert them into words, “Of course- I do have my ideal man. Ideal career. Ideal home. In fact, I am an idealist! But I feel as though all my wants and desires, they are not as significant anymore. I just want to make people happy.”

“But sometimes…” He retorted, “You have to be selfish in order to get what you want to make yourself happy,”

“Why should I, when other’s happiness is already mine?”

The truth is, I have a long list of my wants that if I were to say everything, I could go on and on till I get carried away with my materialistic self. Astarghfirullahal’azim. I always have to constantly remind myself- This is just a temporal life, the Hereafter is eternal!

Making people happy comes in a lot of ways depending on each individual but to me personally, it means giving something to someone simply to satisfy his need and to please him, without expecting anything in return. Whether it is love, money, knowledge or all the worldly possessions, what matters is how willing you are to share/give them away to someone else because not only will it help to improve your character, it also makes you realize what you possess is not really yours. It belongs to God, and has been given to you by Him both for your needs and to share with others who are in need.

Maybe that's one of the reasons why i always put others before myself and I don't see anything wrong with that. Why are people always trying to prove me otherwise?

Rule #57: Anyone can love a rose but it takes a great deal to love a leaf. It’s ordinary to love the beautiful, but beautiful to love the ordinary.

I don’t believe in a lot of the adat Melayu (Malay culture/custom/tradition) and therefore don’t bother to practice them much- I do what I know are along the Islamic lines and still learning, that is enough, thank you-, which clearly means I cannot really seem to conform to what I actually am and will always be looked sardonically at those who no matter how supposedly modernized they are, still remember who they putatively should be.

It’s not that I’m against my own race; it’s just that I don’t have a serious stand on it. I really can’t figure out if it’s the lack of interest from the start or is the ‘malay society’ today just grossed me out that made me lose my interest. Don't get me started about the Malay language itself :/

Whatever it is, I often think of being race-less. Wait, does this even makes sense?

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I don’t like going to malay wedding ceremonies. I cringe every time I’m told to follow my parents and I cringe when I have to choose my own baju kurung and cringed still while picking the “right shoes” – the only time I’m so tempted to just wear slippers, without fail – and cringe in the car on the way to the reception hall and cringe, cringe, cringe through the entire event.

Last sunday was different. The only time I winced was waking up at 7 in the morning. Other than that, I felt relaxed. I went with the flow without complaining at all and I’ve realised the whole event was so….atypical.

Witnessing my cousin’s solemnization in a mosque made me think of my own future. I want mine in the mosque too, except, more people definitely! I wonder a lot about the man whom God wants me to marry. I’m not too young to think about this, am i? Have I met him yet? Is he going to be religious the way I want him to? Is he going to lead me to the righteous path?

I’ve been told that the Girl whom my cousin was marrying is very pious; the Girl normally wears black robe and the selendang (I don’t know what exactly it is called) that covers her whole face except her eyes. Her friends who attended wore like that and I always find these people are the most beautiful ladies on Earth. And then I wonder…when am I going to don the hijab?

I didn’t quite understand why they made it difficult for us though, like initially the girl’s mother wanted the solemnization to be a closed thing where the men could only watch (which meant the ladies had to wait at the back behind the curtains or something like that). And they didn’t want any photos to be taken. But all these failed to happen because many of us were not informed earlier. I didn’t mind that the reception hall was super silent because they didn’t want any songs to be played- Have i mentioned that i accidentally fell asleep while waiting for the food to be ready? Yep. The thing is, the men and women who attended had to be separated! (Since it was held in the CC, they had two different halls!) I understand why they wanted it that way in the context of Islam but…could you just imagine if you were to come with your husband/wife just the two of you? And...you had to eat… alone? :|

Nevertheless, I am happy for him! I still remember who he was when I dated a 21-year old guy two years ago which happened to be his best friend. Who he was back then and who he is today, the change is so great. And then, I question myself, when am I going to repent?

May Allah s.w.t bless you and happily unite the two of you. Amin.

Rule #56: Never fear shadows, for they mean there is light somewhere.

It was at this time during the day, seven times a week, whereby I ponder upon my own life’s idiosyncrasies and irony, among others. As I sat at the 50th storey with the strong wind constantly blew in my face, I managed to speak my mind and expressed myself as sincerely as possible- I rarely do that. My mind has always been running in circles, not just about me but everything else happening in this world today, that can leave me feeling all sorts of emotions which I don’t normally talk about to anyone.

A smile of relief beamed on my face. I breathed in the evening air, watching the sunset fade into the horizon, colors warmly changing from blues to oranges to black. I couldn’t help but marvel at the incredible city of mine. Oh, everything was so beautiful beyond words. Looking at the vastness of it all, I think I felt His grace and for that, it has made me realize how small I am- no matter how high I was, under His wonderments; I feel so humbled…

Truly, He is the Almighty.

I have finally found a peace of mind and a sense of calm that I haven't felt in quite some time. Indeed, there was a kismet there. I couldn't describe the happiness that was saturated within me. Closing my eyes with a smile of gratitude, I gave thanks to Him in my heart, knowing things are changing for the better. In the name of Allah s.w.t..

I am taking a leap of faith. Let’s hold hands together, hope for the best and jump! xx