Today was one of those lazy days that only come by every so often. I woke up at two in the afternoon even though I am naturally a morning person. Reason being I couldn't fall asleep till it was 4.30am; boredom was eating me alive that I even spammed someone's inbox with my stupid text messages. Right now, I’m not feeling quite well though. My chest feels so tight and my breathing is heavy. I just have to pretend it is not painful because I really don’t want to be dragged to the 24-hour clinic!!!
As I laid on the couch for hours just watching television, a thought occurred. I realised that most people spend their lives trying to fill a void. They search for love with the impression that it will fill that void because the society today taught us that once we find love, we will locate happiness. But nowadays I notice people are trying so hard to seek love to the extent that they will complain about how lonely they are and blaming life for being so malicious when love fails.
So here’s to the people who feel that way:
The world is indeed precarious and Shaitaan is everywhere trying to lead us astray; he distracts us from our purpose. I know that sometimes we become so engrossed in our lives that we ultimately forget who we are and what we are living for. Remember, your happiness lies in the hands of God the Almighty. If you do not worship Him, how can you ever expect to be genuinely happy with anything else? If you turn to the creations and not the Lord, that void you feel will remain vacant for the rest of your life. Use your mind and think.
Yesterday I was having my favourite yoghurt @ a neighbourhood Frolicks with someone just catching up as usual and having a heart-to-heart talk.
“I can’t bear to see someone hurting you. I feel so…sad...like urgh,” He murmured as he cringed sympathetically. “I just can’t,”
“If you feel that way, then i don’t want to tell you anything anymore,” I scowled in a joking manner while continue swinging on the swing that I was sitting with him.
Then there he went trying to convince me that he’s worthy enough to know things. I just laughed at the way he responded because it was cute the way he was trying to prove his point. I understood what he meant though. He wants to be my strength, my happiness and everything that I am lacking of.
“You know…That’s the reason why I don’t tell people what I go through. I know, some way or another, whatever I say would affect them emotionally or mentally. Even if it’s just a little tiny bit, I still don’t like that at all,” I asserted politely. “I don’t want to depend on people for emotional support or anything like that because at the end of the day, I still have to fight my own battles.”
Lately I find myself being very cautious with the words that I choose to speak, in fear of that I may or will hurt someone. Thinking about your words is imperative, they can hold eminent meaning. They can reflect your own character. Sometimes, i feel like keeping silent is way better than sharing secrets and saying meaningless things, you know?
But hey, I have to admit it’s one of the most comforting feelings in the world to have someone who showers you with so much love and just wants to see you happy. I am very grateful. However, a note to self: You do not need a man to strengthen you, rely on Allah. xx
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