I feel the nostalgia run through my veins these few nights; it’s been keeping me from sleep. I know I have been unsuccessful in fully expressing how much of a difference he has made in my life- the fear of telling my true and deep feelings still remains a challenge- at the same time, there is this awfully strong urge to extirpate the memories I had with him. Although we had our good times together, which I wished I had a backward button to replay them again, I am still- oh I hate to admit this- emotionally crushed.
Yet, for some inexplicable reason, the fear of losing him engulfs me. Big time.
He's the thorn in my flesh that I can't take out. He's stealing my breath when you're around. You could be my hero, If only I could let go, but his love has still hit me, like a broken arrow. This song by Pixie Lott has been stuck in my head all week. I guess, there are still some missing glass pieces of my fragile heart that have yet to be glued together. I’m just muddled because he said he would take this pain away but we are drifting apart day by day…....
Words are just words after all. They’re cheap, aren’t they darling?
No one really knows what lies beneath the façade that I put up of being a strong and carefree lady. I always try so hard to hide my vulnerability as I am afraid they would be made as weapons against who I am like how it happened before. I believe everybody has their own sad stories to share but being the secretive me, I prefer listening. And you know what, I just realized I have almost mastered the art of pretending.
Well, tonight is just another night of thinking too much and losing sleep. The stirrings of past disappointment; echoes of him. Sigh. It’s three in the morning already. I’m missing you.xx
"Time is a great healer but Allah is the greatest healer." Quoted by someone.
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