I lay on bed and a train of thought runs in my mind, mad as a hatter. Certain thoughts and feelings are immortal. I try to kill them; sometimes they disappear but they always come back. I twist and turn, feeling like an embalm. Soon with a jerk, I wake up just to gaze outside the window, recalling the tender nights and gave praise to God above. I look up with grieving little, but did not mourn; deciding to comfort the heavy heart, I told him my fears, of my silent hurts.
“We met as bare acquaintances and you touched my soul. I never knew you'd grow to mean the world to me, but you did. And in a short time you defined bits of this world, took them up for your own. I never complained, just gave you a little more each day. Something so beautiful could never go wrong. I shivered and stumbled but you steadied and warmed me. I was a different me when I was with you. I guess it wasn't me at all.. Just you, all you. Your radiance reflected on me and made me shine bleakly too. The sky and the shore came together. And in fragments, my life became perfect.
Then we said goodbye. And the threads I was holding on to, fell lose all at once. I came spinning down, drowsy with memories, starving for more. I'm still trying to make my life perfect. But the only way to do it anymore is to cut out parts of my day and paste my past into the nights. And as I photoshop your smile into my life, I know I'll never be the same again. For you changed me, forever.” (Via tumblr)
It scares me so much losing my best guyfriend. I'm still gathering my courage till it's really time to let go of... certain things. Thank you, W, for everything you’ve done for me. I could never ask for more. Alhamdullilah.
♡ ♡ ♡
Nadiah Latiff
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