It’s an awful feeling for me to never completely know if I’m worth any of this. To stand in front of a mirror and look at myself with doubting eyes. I can’t seem to make myself concrete enough not to break at the slightest touch of scepticism. Why is it so hard to stand up and fight for who I am?
Take a leap of faith, love. That’s what they say.
I've been worrying a lot lately. So much so that at times i can feel my chest closing in on itself- constricting breath, creating a needle of pain. My medication should be working faster but I blame myself for missing my morning medication because of my habit waking up late. Even if life feels peculiar and a little difficult right now, I’m still breathing more easily so don’t worry about me. I should be grateful, anyway.
It’s frustrating when I have nothing to share much on my blog. It shows that there have been no new experiences or rather I’m not in the frame of mind to identify the mundane for the unsolicited miracles they often are. I don’t know if that makes sense. Because sometimes even in this state, I do have things to say. But I can’t get the words out. That’s tremendously frustrating; the bottleneck of words sitting in my stomach.
So, here comes June. Didn’t expect you so soon. Or so warm and malodorous in your arrival. Will you please be nice to me?
♡ ♡ ♡
Nadiah Latiff
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