Rule #99: When your hearts are aching, look away from the comfort of people, and look towards the comfort of God.

At this very moment, I’m just chilling @ 15 Minutes café located at Lasalle waiting for Visha to finish her course interview. Hoping I won’t bump into anybody I know, I took a table at the further end facing the wall. I thought of getting a drink since it’s scorching hot out there but I’m trying my best not to get noticed by anyone.

 Life’s so unfathomable for me now. A lot of things have been happening I don’t even know where to start. A mélange of contradicting feelings, emotions and experiences . It’s sometimes too much to take. It over whelms to the point that it becomes hard to breathe. I walked away from a couple of people in my life who were important to me at heart. Maybe it’s really just me- I tend to leave when I know I can’t bring them happiness. Knowing that I only make them worry, sad, etc. about my actions. Being told that I am too caught up with dunya and not fulfilling my responsibilities as a Muslim. Being accused of ‘using’ them for my own good. I couldn’t stand being judged again and again without them knowing what my true intentions are. There was already so much pressure on me about school and family, and they only made it harder. People just don’t freaking take the time to understand. They hear, but they don’t listen. I suppose all these shits are the reason why there’s a huge barrier where I can’t show how much I truly feel for them. I don’t know.

I’m not being emotional or anything but I strongly feel that people are just better off without me.Or maybe, just maybe, I’m better off without them.

 I just want to strengthen my iman and stop pleasing people already.

 I’m tired. Really :’(

 ♡ ♡ ♡
Nadiah Latiff