I will write for myself, to alleviate the apprehension in the depth of my soul.
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Monday, December 19, 2011

Rule #49: Some things just aren’t as easy to one person as it is to the rest of the common world.

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On days of mere existence, I sometimes wonder. I wonder about the life that I am leading. The love I am feeling. The thoughts that are consuming me. It’s a rainy day and I find myself sitting in a café at my town. Even though it is peak hours right now, it feels like a silent movie. Can't capture my full attention but is playing in the background. I should be working but I am not. Tell me something new, you say. I have nothing new…Not today.

I'm sipping on my hot chocolate as I listen to an acoustic cover of my favourite band, Coldplay. I can still hear the raindrops falling. The wind is getting stronger and stronger and I can’t help but to shiver in my sheer black blouse. I wish I brought my jacket to keep me warm…but I’m just going to rely on my hot drink to do that job. I look up and I see a charming barista smiling widely at me. I bet he recognises me as a regular customer. I can't deny I love how I always feel so welcome around here.

I sigh. There are so much things running in my mind, I don’t even know where to start. Choices, and your other half, Decisions – must you two always come back to haunt?

“At some point you will realize that you have done too much for someone, that the only next possible step to do is to stop. Leave them alone. Walk away. It’s not like you’re giving up, and you shouldn’t try. It’s just that you have to draw the line of determination from desperation. What is truly yours would eventually be yours, and what is not, no matter how hard you try, will never be.” – eletheowl via chickabiddy




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