Rule #115: As you grow older, you will realize that there are a lot more things you’ve yet to learn.

If you were wondering how was my birthday, it was great the fact that I celebrated it in school with my homework! Kudos to myself. Well, I did not want to have any big celebration, really. It seems like birthdays start to lose their luster as we grow older. Strange, isn’t it? The day before, I had great family dinner at Suntec. Although I see them almost every day at home, it’s still nice to go out together. Alhamdullilah! Call me boring or anything mean because I am absolutely over the whole partying life. Not that I was very involved in socialising events, but let’s just say, I have experienced a couple of times or more and I don’t really fancy them. Don’t get me wrong- I have nothing against people who party all the time. Avoiding activities like that is just one of the principles that I’ve been working on for almost a year now and Insya’Allah I will always stick to it. If any time you catch me doing all that, reminders are appreciated!:)

I’m still philosophizing about life. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what it means to grow older and how different my perception of age is at home compared to what is the norm here. Thinking deeply about matters has somehow shaped who I am. As quoted by Imam Ali(as), “Keep your thoughts cleaner than pure water. As water drops make a river, thoughts make character and faith.” I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear growing up because that meant being responsible and the only example of responsibility I was familiar with meant worrying about not having enoughmoney and working oneself to death.

To be frank, I tend to subconsciously judge people’s maturity by their age. However, my continuous exposure to human being of different ages seems to suggest otherwise. Age ain’t nothing but a number. Mind over matter, right? Some people can be 23 and still act like 16 or vice versa. My age and I are not in sync, too. Perhaps I have always been told that I don’t act like my age. Sometimes, I feel that I have outgrown most people. But then again, I don’t want to be too proud of myself as I am a flawed human being just like everyone else and I have a lot- and I mean A LOT- of growing up to do.

I am another year older, and hopefully a year wiser.

♡ ♡ ♡
Nadiah Latiff

Rule #80: It’s always the simple things in life that are the most extraordinary.

"You're going to come across people in your life who will say all the right words at all the right times. But in the end, it's always their actions you should judge them by. It's actions, not words, that matter."

Something clicked into place for me recently, and I’ve spent the days asking myself what it all means, and what exactly I’m supposed to do about it. How do you know that the things you feel are good to feel? Right now I can’t trust my emotions- can’t trust that I’m feeling the right things the right way at the right time. I’ve never been able to judge the right times to feel anything, or the right proportion. I trust my brain more, but I can’t think myself out of feeling how I feel.

Anyway, the other day I dreamt of someone who became my other half for more than a year and a half. Just for that few minutes after I woke up, I actually felt that I truly missed him- 4 months after the break up that is- till I had that strong urge to give him a call. Then my stomach was grumbling and I felt so hungry. The moment I had food in my hands right in front of my eyes, I forgot about him all over again!

I thanked God for making it easy for me. I don't want to waste my time missing the wrong guy.

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I realized that there are quite a number of people I know whose birthdays fall on March 15. My baby girl, Yuslina, is one of them and our clique decided to celebrate @ Timbre! It’s really nice although I wish I could stay there longer- Duh have I mentioned my dad’s really strict with the curfew now? Anyway, I would totally ditch partying in a club on my 18th for a relaxing chill out in a pub with a live acoustic band! That’s what I always wanted to do for my birthday this year. Great choice, yuslina! 5 years of friendship and still counting...




















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Rule #53: There comes a time when you have to choose between turning the page and closing the book.

Happy 18th birthday, Princess Amanda! Thank you for inviting me to your birthday party. I hope you had fun!:-*

It’s early Wednesday morning and I’m sitting at my dining table wearing a pair of shorts and nothing else. Last few days I woke up with nobody at home. Today is no different. It feels good to be home alone…I feel rather, independent. I made my bed this morning, washed the dishes, and I made myself breakfast- scrambled eggs with cheese, toast bread and a cup of hot milo!

I’m sitting here with much on my mind. Much of it ran through my mind as I slept last night, so that when I woke up I felt as if I were emerging from a stupor. I wanted to submerge myself in sleep, and stay submerged. Discipline, as always, got the better of me. As I ponder over my life, I realise that penning every feeling down would not be possible, as words fall short, mind races and holding it down being impossible, i try to catch the glimpses and put them in writing.

I basically spent Christmas working my butt off and chilling with my good pal, Dinie, at town till late doing nothing. (His brother was around too. He looks even attractive now that he is bald!:p) We missed our last public transport back to Choa Chu Kang, so I pretty much burnt twenty bucks just on the cab…… which…… initially, we were stranded at Redhill and when we finally got a cab, the driver’s nets machine rejected my card after like a hundred times and I had to rush to the nearest atm (which was not even near) just to frikkin’ withdraw my money. Yep. Great.

The day before (Christmas eve), work was hell. The number of customers I had @ ion’s steve madden was not as overwhelming as I thought it would be, but golly jee! The amount of fuckery they hit me with in the afternoon was insane. Not that I didn’t prepare, it was just…unbelievable. Within that 10hours, I lose count of how many times I threw silent daggers of fury at my customers behind my fake smiles. After a long day at work, I decided to meet up with my friends at somerset to chill out. Walking from Orchard, I went through another hell. It was packed with people (I don’t usually mind but I think I may be getting claustrophobia soon) and I felt so small like as if everyone was towering over me. It was raining. You have no idea how scared I was being all alone in such a crowd as everybody were squeezing their way through and policemen were screaming their lungs out trying to control the human traffic. There were drunken people surrounding me saying hello with large cans of beer in their hands and their stinky mouth so close to me. Hooligans all around spraying cans of white stuffs (I supposed that is like some kind of ‘snow’?) at each other and they sprayed them in the air too. Thank god I managed to hide in between strangers to escape from all those shizz!

Nevertheless, my day ended off great. I had an impromptu meet-up with irfeen and decided to have supper @ newton. I never thought I would eat that much since it was past midnight but who cares? The seafood was delicious. Now I’m craving for some more!!!

If you’re wondering about my plans for 2012 countdown- NIL. NONE. NOTHING. I’ve been getting a lot of invitations from my friends to go to parties which I rejected countless of times without any hesitation. Call me boring or whatsoever. Thing is, I don’t want to start partying again. (or at least….for now?) I would rather not have plans for countdown than spending it in a club with people I barely even know. I like to start a new year in a decent manner like how my parents have brought me up. So, yes ladies and gentlemen, as much as i love to dance and have all the fun, I'll pass;)

Oooh, I have exciting plans later on with my ladies in the afternoon and i have a movie date at night. I gotta get ready soon! xx

Rule #48: We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars

It's cold and I have tightened the grip of my pink scarf around my shoulders. It sits snugly, restricting my hand movement. My feet are tucked under my blanket, toes squished together in happiness. I am in my brother's room, wedged comfortably into his couch whilst writing.

Recently, I spent my day with my girlfriends who gave me the best experience and the greatest joy in my secondary school days. We just chit-chat like we were never going to run out of topics to talk about. Enthusiasm level was perpetually high and we genuinely enjoyed each other’s company as we always do. During that time we discussed our past, yes, we have all had some pretty low times. I can't count the amounts of times I've been through one of those. When I say 'low' it does not at all mean I was destructive, just that decisions I made which affected others and myself I was not proud of.

All and all, through those low times I've learnt. I can sit here thinking and writing about my past, upset about all of those not so great times and be so proud of the person I am today. I may not have a lot to give, we're not rich by any means and time can be taken up by so many little things. But I do have a lot of love here and I know how to forgive.

I missed you so much. I hope to see you again soon, Syafiqah Parlan.
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We gave Alastair an advanced birthday surprise last Friday since his actual birthday fell on the 17th. The week before, I had to laugh because I "canceled" on him after his 3-months of planning to go Sentosa. I didn’t feel guilty because I had a good intention, but at the same time I knew he was very disappointed in me. I didn’t want to miss his birthday like I did last year, so I thought of making up to him by asking everyone to turn up on Friday night to have a mini celebration. With the help of my friend Dinie and the rest, it went better than we all expected ;)













Friends since 2005! Who knew we would be this close 6 years later?;)

















I appologise if anybody was left out in this birthday celebration. Please know that we have no intention of not inviting any particular people as this meet up was quite a last minute plan. Thanks everybody who have made time for this. It's been so long since we gathered together and i was glad to see you all. xx