Rule #63: Stop worrying because it often gives a small thing a big shadow.

(The Barelang Bridge, Batam Indonesia)
Pardon me, I just realised how emotional I sound in my previous posts. I wear my heart on my sleeve- perhaps this is one of my flaws- I do find that this a cathartic way of digesting and releasing my inner most thoughts and feelings. After all, I’m only human. Sometimes I hit a stride so low that I feel like I can’t carry it silently with a million different thoughts floating around my head all day but the truth of all truths; I am totally, completely, truly content with my life!

For this whole month of January, I work at Tangs Orchard with another colleague of mine for the Fashion Bazaar they’re having. It’s really sad that my time there will be ending soon. I did enjoy myself even though we don’t have many customers especially on the weekdays. With my chatterbox Amalina and the guys from Club21 whom I’ve been working with, they make everything seem a lot more fun; taking photos (follow me on instagram @nadiahlatiff!), sneaking food and drinks into the store room, trying out displayed shoes, (pole) dancing and etc. I’m not sure if I would call these ‘establishing friendships’ because colleagues will be colleagues- just workmates- but I wouldn’t mind hanging out with them again someday, really.

Have I mentioned, I also get occasional surprises at work? It’s really nice isn’t it… When you least expect anyone to be at your shop, out of nowhere he/she appeared right in front of you, with your favorite drinks and chocolates! Just that few minutes of his/her presence, it makes you smile from ear to ear the whole day, realizing how thoughtful and sweet that someone is. True enough, it's the little things that count the most,eh?

Overall, my life is undergoing a few changes which I am grateful as I’ve always been one to embrace change with open arms. Yes, change is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts but at the end of the day I'll still be okay if I let the chips fall where they may, and be patient about the turn-of-events. As for right now I can say I'm just, under construction. At the same time I'll enjoy the ride instead of trying to figure out where it’s taking me so that my satisfaction of life will take a positive leap forward! Hey, the weekends are nearing, just hang in there guys! xx

Rule #53: There comes a time when you have to choose between turning the page and closing the book.

Happy 18th birthday, Princess Amanda! Thank you for inviting me to your birthday party. I hope you had fun!:-*

It’s early Wednesday morning and I’m sitting at my dining table wearing a pair of shorts and nothing else. Last few days I woke up with nobody at home. Today is no different. It feels good to be home alone…I feel rather, independent. I made my bed this morning, washed the dishes, and I made myself breakfast- scrambled eggs with cheese, toast bread and a cup of hot milo!

I’m sitting here with much on my mind. Much of it ran through my mind as I slept last night, so that when I woke up I felt as if I were emerging from a stupor. I wanted to submerge myself in sleep, and stay submerged. Discipline, as always, got the better of me. As I ponder over my life, I realise that penning every feeling down would not be possible, as words fall short, mind races and holding it down being impossible, i try to catch the glimpses and put them in writing.

I basically spent Christmas working my butt off and chilling with my good pal, Dinie, at town till late doing nothing. (His brother was around too. He looks even attractive now that he is bald!:p) We missed our last public transport back to Choa Chu Kang, so I pretty much burnt twenty bucks just on the cab…… which…… initially, we were stranded at Redhill and when we finally got a cab, the driver’s nets machine rejected my card after like a hundred times and I had to rush to the nearest atm (which was not even near) just to frikkin’ withdraw my money. Yep. Great.

The day before (Christmas eve), work was hell. The number of customers I had @ ion’s steve madden was not as overwhelming as I thought it would be, but golly jee! The amount of fuckery they hit me with in the afternoon was insane. Not that I didn’t prepare, it was just…unbelievable. Within that 10hours, I lose count of how many times I threw silent daggers of fury at my customers behind my fake smiles. After a long day at work, I decided to meet up with my friends at somerset to chill out. Walking from Orchard, I went through another hell. It was packed with people (I don’t usually mind but I think I may be getting claustrophobia soon) and I felt so small like as if everyone was towering over me. It was raining. You have no idea how scared I was being all alone in such a crowd as everybody were squeezing their way through and policemen were screaming their lungs out trying to control the human traffic. There were drunken people surrounding me saying hello with large cans of beer in their hands and their stinky mouth so close to me. Hooligans all around spraying cans of white stuffs (I supposed that is like some kind of ‘snow’?) at each other and they sprayed them in the air too. Thank god I managed to hide in between strangers to escape from all those shizz!

Nevertheless, my day ended off great. I had an impromptu meet-up with irfeen and decided to have supper @ newton. I never thought I would eat that much since it was past midnight but who cares? The seafood was delicious. Now I’m craving for some more!!!

If you’re wondering about my plans for 2012 countdown- NIL. NONE. NOTHING. I’ve been getting a lot of invitations from my friends to go to parties which I rejected countless of times without any hesitation. Call me boring or whatsoever. Thing is, I don’t want to start partying again. (or at least….for now?) I would rather not have plans for countdown than spending it in a club with people I barely even know. I like to start a new year in a decent manner like how my parents have brought me up. So, yes ladies and gentlemen, as much as i love to dance and have all the fun, I'll pass;)

Oooh, I have exciting plans later on with my ladies in the afternoon and i have a movie date at night. I gotta get ready soon! xx

Rule #46: The world sees only what you do. God sees why you do it.

Sometimes you are given a gift that you don’t know how to accept. You’re not sure how to receive it, because you don’t know the depths of your own heart, and the little you do know leads you to believe that you will ruin it. Sometimes you just don’t have enough faith to believe that the good you’re given is really good as the life factors that play against you contradicts.

Can I ever be better than just ‘good enough’? Do I deserve to be truly content? Is it really THAT strange for me to want more? Am I going to the correct direction? Am I even doing the right thing right now?

These are the questions that are causing chaos in my restless heart. However, there is one other question that has begun to rise above the chaos, which echoes through my mind and stops all the others. With it, my heart begins to beat harder, and every other thought is hushed in a sickening, heart pounding silence: Why does something so right feels so wrong?

This is my life. I am living. But I don’t really feel alive...

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I’ve been working my ass off for days straight (even my weekends!) now my feet hurts like crazy since I have to wear flats. I’m so used to wearing thick outsole which basically explains why it hurts more than heels. I’m not really into flats/pumps anyway; it’s the last choice I will ever pick for an outfit. (If you ever see me in flats, it means I couldn’t figure out other shoes to match with! or I purposely want to dress down.) I find it so sweet when my customers remember me even when I’m not working. Even the Caucasians, they would wave at me when they see me outside! My work has been very exhausting with the massive Christmas sale, but I can't deny that I kinda like it. Unlike my other colleagues, I’m always the type of person who enjoys being busy than having nothing to do at all…

Talking about sales, this Friday Isetan Scotts (The one located at Shaw!) is going to have a private sale for Isetan Cardmembers and guest only. Mark down now, you are not to be missed! It starts at 8.30am. Plus, you get the chance to see me in my ridiculous costume, I mean, uniform! It’s really hideous, and you have to see it to believe it! I don’t mind being laughed at, if my ugly uniform is going to make your day!!! No doubt it’s going to be a hectic one (and I’ll be busy climbing the goddamn shelves like a mad spider) Steve Madden is targeting to sell $30k worth of shoes and each individual staff- $5k! That is pretty insane because normal days, I could only sell about 10 shoes?

Please excuse me while I laugh at how pathetic my selling techniques are.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA.

Besides working, I’ve been meeting Sherini every day and it’s already been a week straight! Both of us are working at orchard area so it’s very accessible to meet up. I usually end earlier but I don’t mind waiting while I chill at her workplace (Heeren’s Spinelli) where I can get staff discount too for my drinks. Afterwards we would have our supper at Youth Park’s Kopitiam and clearly we couldn’t care less about our weight, we would just eat whenever we like even if it’s already midnight! Right, bitch?




Get what I mean?

Rule #44: Fashion knows not of comfort, all that matters is the face you show the world.

I feel so out of control, I feel like I’m on the outside looking in and someone else is at the steering wheel. This is my attempt to chronicle my quest to being in charge of my life and to be the woman I have always wanted to be….But, am I going to reach my full potential? How? What scares me is that the future I’m trying to build for myself can easily be changed. Well at least I know I am doing the right thing: fighting for what I believe in!

Anyway, I finally got a job @ Steve Madden last week, one of my favourite shoe designer stores! I had a lot of shocking reactions and remarks from my friends about me having a part-time job especially Hidayah who went like, “NADIAH? Working? Are you seriously kidding me?!” I really don’t get what’s the whole issue about me being a part-timer and whenever I asked, I always get this reply: “You’re like so fucking princess and now you’re working?” Shrugs. I need money too like everybody else! I can’t always rely on my parents, can i?

The uniform is absolutely hideous with the blue/red tights, but hey I get paid for it so I should not mind! Time passes so quickly since this job often keeps me moving, plus, I get to look at pretty shoes every day and see them being worn by beautiful people which gives me happiness! Working @ Ion outlet is so much better than Isetan as there are more customers which means more commission for me. I can't deny that I hate Isetan’s storeroom! Can you just imagine? Me. Climbing up the huge shelves. From right to left all the way up to reach for the boxes. Without any ladder! Jeez, I hope I don’t die from falling off the shelves and hitting the back of my head. They were a few times I almost fell because the shoes are so heavy that I couldn’t balance myself. Right now, I just need a massage!!!

One of my customers, in her late 20s, had a quote tattooed at the back of her body, “Life would be better if unicorns exist.” I giggled straightaway thinking how ridiculous it was! ‘What can a goddamn unicorn do?’ I had the urge to ask but I didn’t want her to take it the wrong way since I’m not a believer of this non-existence/fairy-tale creature called Unicorns. It’s like trending in social networking sites these days, isn't it? Seriously can somebody enlighten me, unicorn lovers, what can these creatures really do to make life better?


White Collar Shirt, Zara | Knit Pullover, Bershka | Hot Pants, Forever21 | Flat Top Sunglasses, Ebay Clubmaster | Flats, Topshop | Handbag, Kate Spade




Ben & Jerry's icecream;)



Iced Tea, Ice Chocolate, Cheesecake @ Spinelli Heeren where i visited my girlfriend Erin who was working :p

And of course we did a little drawing here and there. Shoes!!!

I even bought Bakerzia's macaroons for her since she never tried one before!;)


Before I forget, Steve Madden is having a private sale for those with VIP Membership Card. 30% off for all the shoes!!! If you buy two or more, you’ll get 40% off. AND NO, don’t come to me for staff discount because sadly I can’t have any. I gotta wait for the next season and then I’ll get 50% discount for maximum 5 pairs. AAAAH I CAN’T WAIT!!!!!!! Those who have not been there, do drop by and check out all the gorgeous shoes! xx